The focus in our lives can often feel like a pendulum. Particularly during the conception stage where at one moment we focus completely; we live, eat and breathe pregnancy and baby. The next, we are over it all. It may not be happening as quickly as we expect which is disheartening and frustrating making us want to ignore anyone and everything associated with pregnancy. It can be overwhelming. Not just the emotional drain of these fluctuating moods but also the toll on our body and mindset that results from cycling through those highs and lows.

I’m not here to tell you that the roller coaster won’t happen. What I do believe is that it is all about balance. My suggestions do not come lightly and not without the understanding that shift and change can be difficult. I understand that processes can be overwhelming whichever approach you may be taking or stage you may be at. Though I do hope that, if you’re similar to me, you like to ponder new thoughts offered and see what resonates for you at the time.

People come to me with a range of outlooks and mindsets. From complete focus the point of obsession to some couples who show no connection to conceiving at all. And then there is every other stage in between.

What is important is that there is intention but not obsession. That there is hope and faith, rather than hopelessness and despair. That there is consciousness ownership and engagement, rather than simply doing as you’re told and being swept along in the process.

So how do you achieve balance during this often stressful time?

  • Explore your interests

Ensure there are other areas in your life that you are passionate about that can give you a focus outside of conceiving and babies. Hiking, pamper treatments, exercise that you enjoy and not always pregnancy related, a hobby or interest that purely gives you joy.

  • Intention

Be intentional with the times you are focusing on the conception process. A morning or evening ritual, a meditation you complete three times a week, having a space that reflects and represents your commitment to your goals and dreams of a baby.

  • Time out

Outside of the intentional and focused times, please give yourself some time out. Rest your thoughts, rest your brain. Constantly thinking and ruminating about trying to conceive, is not only emotionally draining but physiologically affects your hormones such as cortisol and adrenalin. This then has a flow on effect causing sleep disturbance, mood fluctuation and weight gain. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, my colleagues report that internal organs are affected such as the spleen and stomach or the kidney and bladder.

  • Balance

Maintaining balance around habits and routines: diet, sleep, exercise and work hours just to name a few. Ensuring you maintain balance in these areas allows other areas like our reproductive system and the conception process to align.


We can be passionate and goal focused but burnout in any area of our life sets us back. Conscious and intentional steps with balance achieve far greater results. What areas of your life do you think could be re-evaluated based on lack of balance?