Talking from personal experience, the silly season can be a difficult time when you’re trying to conceive. Images of happy families fill your TV screens, the shops are full of toy sales and Mum’s and bubs out shopping. When all you want is to have a family of your own, these powerful reminders of what’s missing, can be difficult. And lets not forget the well-meaning relatives who always enquire “when are you going to have children”. Here’s some tips to help you get through the silly season with your sanity intact and maybe even a smile on your face.
Prepare your response in advance
When catching up with extended family, it’s inevitable that one of your well0meaning relo’s will ask the dreaded questions “When are you going to have kids”. By preparing what you plan to say in advance, you’ll help avoid that awkward silence or even worse, your knee jerk reaction to tell them to mind their own business! Plan your response ahead of time. Simply say “one day”, “eventually” or I often liked to go with “we’re trying” which helped politely avoid the question being asked again.
2. Focus on all the good stuff you have in your life
Infertility can be all consuming. We can focus so much on what we don’t have that we forget to appreciate and enjoy what we do. Whether it’s your partner, family, friends or even your fur baby, focus on the loving influences you do have in your life, cherish and enjoy them this holiday season. Write a list of thing you enjoy and make sure you do more of them. Reading, writing, listening to music, hiking, going to the beach, movies etc etc. indulge in and enjoy your favourite activities.
3. Remove yourself when you need
If all the happy families get too much to deal with, remove yourself. Instead of hitting the shops with the swarms of Mums, bubs and kids, buy online. If you don’t feel up to attending the afternoon Christmas picnic with all your work colleagues families, go to the after work drinks instead. Don’t be afraid to admit that you’re struggling, don’t force yourself into situations you’d rather avoid. Be gentle and kind to yourself this Christmas.
4. Treat yourself
While you’re busy buying gifts for family and friends, be sure to include yourself amongst that gift-giving list. If there’s a new dress or shoe’s you’ve been eyeing off treat yourself! And let’s not forget the men, who can be just as affected, choose something that will bring you joy and gift it to yourself.
5. Look after yourself
With the alcohol, chocolate and chips available in abundance this time of year, it can be tempting to drown your sorrow in a bottle of wine or a box of chocolates. Perhaps a temporary reprieve, this will only make you more miserable and take you further away from your goal. Stay on track with your health goals (except of course the occasional over indulgence), focus on a positive outcome for next year. You are already carrying all the genetic material that has the potential to become your future child. The nourishing and the nurturing starts now.